Finding my voice online



When I first joined Tumblr in 2013 (escaping from the shutdown of My Opera), I couldn't wait to see what shape my new blog would solidify into.

It never took any shape at all.

You'll say that's kind of the point with the once-popular tumblelog format, but there's a difference between freewheeling and random. Add to that the high toxicity enabled by the reblog-with-additions feature, and you have a recipe for ugliness. And yes, I've allowed myself to be drawn into it way too often. Just like on Twitter, the other major platform to have this misfeature. There's no denying my share of the guilt.

Even on Mastodon, where you can only boost a toot as-is (and maybe reply to it in a separate toot), that's still too easy. It reduces the toxicity, a lot even, but the results are still chaotic. Not the beautiful, creative kind of chaos, either. Just a jumble of mismatched thoughts.

Funny, then, how easily I was able to form a coherent discourse right here. Not a pretty one, admittedly. All the loneliness and bitterness in recent years has been getting to me. But it's me. I'm slowly learning to be myself again.

The added friction, that forces me to work at making a post, makes a world of difference. Much like on my brand-new Dreamwidth journal. Or for that matter my gaming blog. Even though the latter has also been in exile on Tumblr for the past year.

Guess it's not just the place then, but also how you approach it? Perhaps. But there's a reason I'm bringing that blog home soon as well.

Lots of new beginnings for me this year and the coming one, then. And that still leaves some things to fix. Oh well, got to deal with them one by one.

If as of late you've had trouble recognizing yourself in your social media streams, take a step back and try to remember what you wanted to tell the world in the first place.

Even the Borg routinely proved able to break free. What excuse do we have?


Tags: social media, personal, philosophy